Ashamed of Our Tears
by Bonham Squad
Summary: The story leading up to Miss Havisham being left at the altar on her wedding day. Only a few years pass when Abel Magwitch happens upon her home once again after assisting Compeyson in abandoning his former 'bride'. The encounter between Havisham and Magwitch could be many things...none of which they were expecting. Rated M for future chapters. Miss Havisham/Magwitch.
1. Setback

_My first official fanfiction. Don't worry, the story will pick up and get more interesting, the first couple chapters are just for introduction. Feedback is appreciated, thanks for reading! :)_

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He thundered up the stairs past the neighbors' doors, giving no thought to the peace he was disrupting. Then, Compeyson burst through Arthur's already rickety door furiously, Arthur following close behind. He closed the door behind him, and turned just in time to duck from a flying book.

"Christ, Arthur, what the hell were you thinking? Do you realize what would happen if were we to be caught?" Compeyson fumed.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't know he would-"

"Well it doesn't matter now, does it? Soon everyone will be talking about it and they'll all be suspicious of us. You raging idiot…" Compeyson muttered to himself as he pressed his temples with his fingertips and sat down in a chair, breathing angrily.

It was only minutes earlier, while they were at Mr. Hoffman's purchasing new coats, when Arthur decided to pay for a new, very expensive, waistcoat with a stack of cash. To pay for such items that way at Mr. Hoffman's, or anywhere with such a large sum of money, was very unorthodox and was also cause for great suspicion. The people who usually paid with such a grandiose act were found guilty of putting out forged notes; a serious crime.

The tailor was quite shocked and called Mr. Hoffman to the front room, where he whispered in his ear with a serious expression. Mr. Hoffman immediately began asking questions, obviously very skeptical.

Compeyson came in from the back fitting room, curious, and instead saw a very anxious Arthur shaking in his boots. With a cool air and sly tongue, Compeyson managed to get them both out of there before they were caught or called in.

"You _know _the rules," Compeyson said quietly. "Why did you go and do that? Never mind. Before the sun sets, there won't be one person in town who hasn't heard about our little…incident. We can't possibly keep forging, not with everyone waiting around. That would be incredibly daft." He looked out the window into the rainy gloom, searching his scheming mind for ideas.

"What do you intend we should do then?" asked Arthur from the other side of the room, still cowering even though his commander had calmed down relatively quickly.

"Hell if I know. I told Mr. Wicker that I would have the money for the estate by the end of the year. Now that our…livelihood has been terminated, where the hell am I supposed to get the rest of the money?"

"We could…get jobs?" Arthur suggested apprehensively, as if he already knew the answer. Compeyson would never demean himself in such a way.

"There's no point. We wouldn't even be able to come up with a _quarter_ of the amount by the deadline. Even with two wages." Another irksome thought dawned on him, contorting his face into a twisted chagrin. "Maria."

Compeyson's fiancé was a beauty beyond compare and a well-to-do young woman. Her skin looked as though it was made of marble, yet it was still supple. Her hair was made of wiry tangled curls, yet it was still tame.

Moreover, she was charming with a pleasant disposition, but could snap an arm if need be. She was full of contradictions, and Compeyson loved her. They were engaged to be married only 6 months ago and Compeyson wanted to have the house in his possession by the time they were wed.

"I told her the deed would be mine by the time the year was out. I refuse to live in my shithole of a home with a new bride." Compeyson became more tense as each minute passed, pushing his face further into his hands in hopes that the world around him would disappear and he would wake in a lustrous new world, swimming in his riches. But when he peeked through his fingers, he still saw the world with streets made of mud and manure, grime and smoke seeping into every last corner.

For a while they sat in silence; only the sound of the rain hitting the roof permeated the muggy air. Arthur sat in a chair by the table while Compeyson leaned against the wall, looking through the window at the filth outside.

"We could leave town for a while, keep our business going. Then come back once everything's quieted down here," Arthur suggested, this time with a little more enthusiasm.

"That would just make it look worse. The two of us, suddenly suspected of counterfeiting, leave town out of the blue without any warning or reason. I won't be seen as a coward. If we leave, it'll only confirm their suspicions. Besides, I have a party to go to with Maria at the end of the week, and I can't leave her," Compeyson explained.

Though he was still irate, Compeyson was starting to become slightly more anxious. Where was he going to come up with the money in time? If he didn't meet the deadline, the house would go to someone else.

He also needed the money to pay for the wedding, and if he didn't make the payment deadline, Compeyson and Maria would have neither a house nor a wedding. He couldn't do that to her, he needed to get his hands on a large sum of money some how. _Real _money. _Really _soon.

The small apartment fell into silence again, only this time it was calmer. Shouts from the street vendors could be heard along with the horses pulling carriages through the mud. The wind was picking up and whistled through the cracks in the walls, rattling the small window through which Compeyson glowered.

After a few minutes, he finally spoke. "Well…I suppose we'll just have to find another way to get the money."

And with that, Compeyson took his hat from the table, moved to the door, and departed without another word, leaving Arthur alone with the dense air clinging to the walls.

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_Thanks, let me know what you think!_


	2. A Sister's Dispatch

_Thanks for reading, here's the next chapter!_

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The next day, Arthur awoke to his empty home as he did every morning. The sun was hung low in the sky; it had already cleared the foggy horizon. He pushed back the warm covers, releasing the heat that had been trapped underneath them. The cold hit him with a potency that left him shivering in his thin underclothes. Quickly, he shuffled to the bathroom ad drew a hot bath.

While the water was running, he went to the front room and started a fire, so by the time he was finished with his bath, the place would be relatively warmer than it was at the moment.

Arthur put one foot over the edge into the bath and slowly submerged the rest of his body with a long sigh of relief from the icy drafts. After he finished scrubbing dirt from his hands and under his nails and the water was slightly murky, he drained the tub and wrapped as much of himself as he could in a towel.

Still sleepy, he moved back to his bedroom and dressed in his usual attire, which was of course paid for with the "manufactured" money.

The heat from the fireplace had finally managed to settle and warm the small rooms only slightly. Arthur walked out the door and down the stairs to the lobby on the first floor. "Good morning, Mrs. Abney," he said with a slight smile to the landlady as he checked for any mail in his box.

There were a few bills for some clothes and furniture he had yet to pay off, a rather thick envelope, and a small letter. He looked at the address from which it was received, the letter was sent by one Miss Aurelia Havisham at Satis House.

Arthur looked at the name for a long moment, his blood slowly being brought to a boil. A rough voice from behind finally brought Arthur to move.

"Must be from someone important, then?" Mrs. Abney inquired. Arthur looked back

to her and then at the letter once more.

Once he returned entirely back from reality, he stated uninterested "No. Not really. Just a small note from someone I used to know." Mrs. Abney looked at him for a while, and then returned to her work behind the counter. Arthur moved swiftly to the stairs and bounded up to his room, quickly closing the door as he dropped all the mail on the table.

He threw the bills aside and decided to open the large, stuffed envelope first. He already knew it was his pay from Compeyson, but the amount was underwhelming for the size of the mail and considerably less than he usually garnered. The measly amount he got for working with Compeyson was better than a standard waged job at any rate, so he was thankful for whatever he earned. He put the money in its designated parcel he kept on top of the bookshelf.

The letter was sitting on the table, solitary. He picked it up slowly, surprised that it actually felt somewhat heavier than before. '_Miss Aurelia Havisham'_. He read the name again and again before actually unfolding the paper.

Aurelia was his half-sister, born into a lifestyle of wealth and love. They shared a father, but only as a result of an affair he had with the cook. That, along with the fact that her mother died when she was little, was the reason Aurelia was always favored and spoiled over Arthur. She remained at Satis House when he moved out on account of the partisanship between the two of them. She got everything she could have ever wanted and he was left in the dust on birthdays, holidays, and any day really.

She was also very beautiful and charming. She had smooth, ivory skin with plenty of silk, lace, and satin dresses to match. Her hair was always perfectly coiffed, almost effortlessly. Her voice was that of a sweet song dancing through the air, teasing one's senses, her laugh the same. She was always inordinately polite and pleasant to be around, no one could ever bore when talking to her; she was very good with people. This was another reason Arthur couldn't stand her. There was literally nothing to dislike about Aurelia, some would say she was perfect.

Because of her status and poise, everyone called her Miss Havisham, even when she was a young girl. The only people that ever called her by her first name were her family and friends. Arthur's jealousy and resentment toward his half-sister caused him to become the most rebellious and ungrateful young boy one could imagine, and he had obviously never grown out of it.

Remembering he had yet to read the letter, he looked down and scanned the silky round cursive writing that was unmistakably his sister's. Even her penmanship was flawless; the message she was passing on to him was regrettably not as appealing as his sister's handwriting. Apparently their father had fallen ill and the family wanted him to come to Satis House to see him, "just in case". _God forbid something happened and I wasn't there, _Arthur thought to himself. _It's not like he would notice if I was there anyway._

Regardless of his dislike for his family, Arthur decided to make the visit to see his father. He could at least try to get him to will a decent amount of money to his only son; even a fraction of his fortune would be more than enough for Arthur to live on for the rest of his life. So it was settled, he would go out to Satis House tomorrow morning.

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_I'm glad people are enjoying it, reviews are appreciated as always._


	3. Sparks

_I am so so sorry it's taken me so long to update. I'm writing two stories at once, so it's a little tricky, but I will definitely try to update more often now because I really like writing this one. I hope you like it, thanks!_

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The coach bounced on the slightly rocky road. Arthur could see out the window the sun rolling over the horizon, creating wonderful orange and yellow gradients across the sky and spanning fields. The warm light bounced through the dew on the grass and leaves, resulting in glittering landscapes that were reminiscent of a painting or a dream.

There is a certain hour in he morning when the sun rises that everything is calm, and Arthur breathed in the crisp air as he sat back in his seat.

Compeyson sat across from him looking out at the empty fields, as well. Arthur had somehow managed to coax him into coming along with him, mostly as an anchor to keep him sane around his family. Simply thinking about them made his rage flicker, especially his stepsister. Compeyson only agreed to come along to see the old house in which Arthur was brought up, knowing full well his family was extremely privileged and wealthy.

Looking at his pocket watch, Compeyson's slightly bored expression did not change.

"Where exactly are we going, again?" he asked, his steely voice slicing through the frozen silence. Arthur broke out of the trance the stillness brought upon him and he looked in Compeyson's direction.

"Rochester," he answered distracted. "Kent."

"Right," responded Compeyson. There was soundlessness again, aside from the horses' rhythmic clopping outside. Arthur turned back to his window, the sun had moved higher now, almost breaking free from the place where it was tethered to the earth.

So they rode along, the carriage nearer to Satis House with every passing second.

. . .

Stepping outside into the warm sun, Aurelia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The air was dense with the perfume of flowers that surrounded the house. These moments were her sanity, her escape. She wasn't able to spend much time out of the house lately, something that drove her crazy.

On any normal day, Aurelia would leave the house and read a book under the cool shade of a tree or watch butterflies float around the garden moving from flower to flower. There was also a small path hidden within the trees that brought her tranquility, as well.

But now, whenever she wasn't stuck inside a stuffy room all day at her father's bedside, she was running to the kitchen or storage room for anything that was demanded. She wanted her father to stay alive more than anyone, but being in his room, watching him on his deathbed was slowly draining her lightheartedness and hope that was her essence.

The freedom, even if for a minute or two, was a period of regeneration and bliss that she absorbed fully because who knew how long it would be until she was outside again. She moved to the wall surrounding the large estate and sat in the grass leaning her back against it, moving her face to side and pressing her cheek against the cool stone. Her white dress billowed softly in the light breeze and she untied the laces from her boots, kicking them off and spreading her feet so the blades of grass poked between her toes.

After about a half hour sitting in the quiet, she began to hear horses and a carriage in the distance. Aurelia stood and looked through the gate to see a coach a ways away down the dirt road. She went to slip her shoes back on and waited behind the gate as her brother arrived.

She was thankful he agreed to come and see his father, worried that he would disregard her letter. But when she received a reply letting her know he would be there, her spirit lightened a bit. She hadn't seen him in years, so she was also nervous to see a completely different person step out of the door, remembering how things ended the last time they were together.

As they neared, she unlocked the gate and opened it to the visitors.

. . .

Compeyson looked eagerly out the window, examining the house from the coach.

"Well done, Arthur. How did you ever leave this place?" he asked impressed.

"Wait and you'll see," Arthur replied, unenthused.

They approached the entrance, which was a very large cast iron gate being slowly opened by a young woman in a dress so white it seemed like a different color entirely. Arthur recognized her immediately as his stepsister and rolled his eyes at her patient waiting. Compeyson saw her as well and glanced over at Arthur who already looked extremely annoyed.

"Lighten up, will you? You haven't even gotten out of the car and you're already glum. You're not even trying," Compeyson teased. They stopped and he was the first to exit the car.

When he stepped out, he was met with a flashing pair of deep brown eyes and a wonderfully bright smile. He was stopped in his tracks by the young woman's satin face, which was accented with the most perfect bone structure. Her long neck caught his eyes that roamed to an area of exposed soft skin left uncovered by the bodice of her intricately laced dress.

"Hello," she greeted with a welcoming disposition. He removed his hat immediately and nodded in her direction.

"Arthur," he began, holding a friendly gaze on her. "You failed to mention how… unimaginably lovely your sister is."

"_Step. _She is my _step_sister," he corrected in return. "Sorry, it must have slipped my mind," he said sarcastically as he closed the door. Aurelia moved to him automatically and embraced him with a friendly squeeze. Her smile, though infectious to anyone else on the planet, did nothing for him and he simply nodded his head in return.

Unfazed by the lack of enthusiasm, Aurelia turned back to Compeyson.

"Well? Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend you've brought along," she asked curiously.

"Right. Uh, Compeyson, this is my stepsister, Aurelia Havisham. And this is my friend and business partner Compeyson Blackwood," said Arthur, bored and somewhat begrudgingly. Compeyson took her small hand and lifted it to his lips softly.

"Lovely to make your acquaintance, Miss Havisham," he said smoothly. She smiled and blushed bringing a light pink tint to her cheeks, and watched him, as he stood straight again.

Arthur watched the scene before him, confused as to why Compeyson was behaving as though he didn't already have a fiancé. The flirtatious looks and compliments were that of a single man, not one that was to be betrothed before the year was out.

"Thank you Mister Blackwood, it is very nice to meet you as well. Now, come along Arthur, everyone will be so pleased you're here," she took his hand and led him to the picturesque home he once lived in, followed by Compeyson who continued to watch Aurelia with an intrigued air.

Arthur caught his looks once again, and suddenly something in his mind sparked as Aurelia opened the great front door into the foyer of Satis House.


	4. A New Proposal

Arthur practically broke down the door as he fumed out of the study.

"The brewery?" he yelled in disbelief. "She gets practically everything he owned _and _the property and I get the bloody _brewery_? Does he even remember he had a son? Or was he just too ashamed of my being that he just forgot about me?"

The rest of the family members and friends were still sitting in shock as Arthur stalked down the hall, Compeyson running to him after apologizing profusely. His father's lawyer had gathered them in the study to read the will. He left some small personal affects and money to family members and friends, but he left almost the entirety of his money and all of the estate to his daughter. Even though he got a decent amount of cash, Arthur was greedy and expected more.

"Arthur," Compeyson called for him to stop. "He left you plenty of money, what are you going on about? That's why you came here." The last part he said quietly. Arthur wheeled and looked as though he was about to scream in his face, but he didn't and gave an exasperated sigh.

"You look like a right arse for storming out of there, now. They're probably onto you about your intentions of coming here," explained Compeyson.

"I don't bloody care," Arthur said, still trying to calm down, leaning against a wall. Just then Aurelia came around the corner looking confused and wide-eyed, an expression that would make any normal person look deranged, but on her looked innocent and endearing.

"Ah, Miss Havisham, so sorry about your brother here," Arthur looked away to conceal his incredibly irritated expression as Compeyson addressed Aurelia beguilingly.

"What's gotten into you? Are you bloody mad?" Miss Havisham asked Arthur.

"Perhaps!" he said with a controlled rage directly to her face and stormed off down the hall. Compeyson watched him go for a moment and decided to follow him.

"Terribly sorry, again Miss Havisham," he said and was after Arthur. Aurelia watched both of them before she returned to the study.

. . .

Later that night, Arthur sat in one of the many large guest rooms while the sun sank below the horizon and the moon rose, lighting up the black sky with uncountable dots of celestial light. He had been like that for hours.

There was a light knocking on his door and he moved from his frozen state to turn his head a little.

"Come in," he said calmly and quietly. The door barely opened and a figure squeezed in through the small space.

"How are you?" Aurelia's delicate voice hardly disturbed the peace and quiet, seeming to meld perfectly with the silence. Arthur almost found it comforting, but he didn't answer. He simply held his gaze out the window. He could only just hear his stepsister's quiet movements as she stepped a little closer.

"You don't have to stay," there was a pause but still no response. "We can just send you the money and the deed off to you."

"I don't give a damn," said Arthur, still unmoving.

"Why not?" her voice became a little more unsympathetic. He turned to look at her; she was sitting on the side of his bed in a different dress than before, however just as lovely. He simply turned back again. This prompted her to stand and make her way to where he was sitting and stood in front of him.

"Look, I know you don't want to be here, and I may not be your favorite person, but your father…" she pointed in the general direction of his room, "…is _dying _in there, and all he wanted was to see his family together for one last time." Her tone and expression had become serious, something Arthur was very unfamiliar with. He sat there somewhat confused at this woman he didn't recognize.

"Why do you hate me so much?" she said suddenly. This question certainly coming out of left field, Arthur looked at her incredulously and then stood, his height having little effect on his dominance.

"I don't hate you," he said. "I resent you."

Arthur made to leave, but before he walked out the door, he turned to her curiously.

"What do you think of Compeyson?" he asked. She was slightly saddened by what he had just said, but this question brought a new, surprised expression to her face.

"Oh…well…he's very kind. And polite," she said, unsure of why he was abruptly changing the subject.

"You don't think he's handsome?" he asked, mocking astonishment.

"Well, of course. Anyone would have to be blind not to see that he is," she defended. He gave a satisfied look and left the room, leaving Miss Havisham alone.

Entering Compeyson's room, Arthur was relieved to see he was still awake and working on what seemed to be a letter. He turned to acknowledge his presence and put down his pen.

"Did she talk to you?" he asked as he stood and turned to face him fully.

"What?" Arthur was puzzled.

"Your sister," Arthur threw him a look. "Your _step_sister," he corrected.

"Well…yes," Arthur said.

"And?" Compeyson urged as he reached into a pocket of the coat hanging on the back of a chair to pull out a tin of cigarettes. After offering one to Arthur, which he declined, he pulled one out and lit it up.

"And what? How did you know she was coming to talk to me?" Arthur questioned.

"She told me," Compeyson acted as though it were obvious while he puffed on his cigarette by the large open window, letting the summer breeze carry it away.

"Wait- Oh never mind," Arthur brushed it off and moved closer. "I wanted to talk to you about our…predicament," he suggested. Compeyson looked over at him, interested.

"What about?" he urged.

"I think I've come up with an idea. To get the money."

"Well don't just sit there, what is it?" Compeyson's attentiveness increased as he shifted his body to face him more fully.

"Alright, now it's not exactly conventional per say. So don't say anything until I've finished." Compeyson nodded, complying and allowed Arthur to explain.

"You obviously have made some kind of impression on Aurelia, and rightly so; you're well-mannered, wealthy, and handsome," Compeyson's face lit up somewhat with pride.

"And all you've done since you've been here is flirt, but I'll be willing to forget that around your fiancé," Arthur said this a little more chastising, which caused Compeyson's proud smile to become somewhat guilty, but he kept his word and remained quiet.

"Anyway, I was thinking…if you could get her to fall in love with you, perhaps getting our hands on some more of my father's money wouldn't be entirely out of reach. You pique her interest, woo her a bit, we take the money, and disappear without a trace. You get your wife and your house, and I get my own life of ease and luxury with all the money we could imagine. _Real_ money."

Once Arthur had finished his brief explanation, he looked at Compeyson who seemed a bit startled.

"Well?" Arthur asked, prying for feedback. It took a few seconds for Compeyson to fully understand what he was saying. It was truly one of the most unorthodox and moralistically twisted methods he'd heard from him.

"You want me…" he summarized, still flummoxed, "…to seduce your sister…so I can take her money?"

At that, Arthur smiled a dirty smile and narrowed his eyes venomously.


	5. Sorry

_Hi there, I know I'm not supposed to post author notes as individual chapters, buuuut I feel like I should explain to you guys why I haven't been updating. First of all, I'd like to apologize to anyone who has been patiently waiting for an update. I have had an unfortunately eventful couple of months and am currently invested in several different projects. I'm not quitting this fic, but I'm working on a few more and doing two at a time is much easier than doing 4 or 5 at a time. So eventually I will get back to this one, it'll just be easier once the workload isn't as heavy. Postponing some of these projects is not something I want to do, I wish I could sit and work on them all day, but believe it or not I do have a life, and I recently have had a bit of very large news come my way and I am also trying to deal with that._

_Whew! Okay I think that's it. I just want to thank everyone who is reading and commenting their lovely thoughts! I feel horrible for keeping you hanging this long, but I finally decided to do something about it, so thanks. Just hang in there because I will get back to this eventually (hopefully sooner than later), promise!_

_Thanks everyone, see you soon!_

_-Meg_


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